Merton on Contemplation

Last week at a friend's cottage I happened upon a book that has been on my 'to-read' list for a while, Thomas Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation.

I skimmed through it and landed on one chapter in particular that said a lot about living a contemplative life, a life in which one 'pays attention' to God's presence and activity in the here-and- now present moment.

As an 'aspirant' to such activity, (and very often ONLY an aspirant!) I could identify with what Merton, a Trappist monk, writer, philosopher and activist had to say about the challenges of contemplation:

"The contemplative life certainly does not demand a self-righteous contempt for the habits and diversions of ordinary people. But nevertheless, no man who seeks liberation and light in solitude, no man who seeks spiritual freedom, can afford to yield passively to all the appeals of a society of salesman, advertisers and consumers. . . . A natural pleasure is one thing; an unnatural pleasure, forced upon the satiated mind by the importunity of a salesman is quite another."

These words, written in 1961, are even more relevant today than ever. Life is often nothing but distractions, a perilous place for we, the ADD-crowd.

As I look deeper into my entire motivation for seeking to contemplate, these thoughts shine a light on what for me is often simply a desire for peace, quiet and no annoying people to have to bother with. Merton writes,

"If you seek escape for its own sake and run away from the world only because it is (as it must be) intensely unpleasant, you will not find peace and you will not find solitude. If you seek solitude merely because it is what you prefer, you will never escape from the world and its selfishness; you will never have the interior freedom that will keep you really alone."

So what is the whole point and purpose of living a contemplative life, or even just to take a day apart to be quiet and enjoy some solitude? Being on sabbatical, I am enjoying having chunks of time I can dedicate to solitude, but to what end? Likening contemplation to a desert, Merton says,

"We do not go into the desert to escape people but to learn how to find them; we do not leave them in order to have nothing more to do with them, but to find out the way to do them the most good. But this is only a secondary end. The one end that includes all others is the love of God."

My prayer is that in this season of enjoying some silence and solitude, I will encounter the Lord in a fresh way and receive something I can bring back into my life among family, friends and the world that will bless and encourage another to walk closer with Him as well.

(Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, 1961)

Slowing Down to Silence

I have heard it from several sources now, people who have been on sabbatical.  Often they say something like "When I finally stopped, I realized how tired I really was!"  In some cases the word 'exhausted' is used in place of 'tired' or some other adjective even more harrowing.

I can honestly say I was probably tired, but this past year didn't leave me in a total state of fatigue going into sabbatical.  I went in with energy to spare (albeit a little sick, if you have been following the blog), and in a decent frame of mind.  No flirting with burnout, no major exhaustion.  I am thankful that as I enter my fourth week, I am feeling more and more relaxed!  Every time I realize this afresh, I am careful to give thanks and praise to God and also to Creekside for this wonderful opportunity.

So what have I been up to this past week or so?

- got my bike tuned up and am eager to do more cycling now
- mulched the gardens, re-edged the sidewalks, did a bunch of yard work, looked around for a replacement wheel for my mower (they don't seem to make metal hubs anymore, it's all plastic!)
- songwriting and what I call 'noodling' on the piano and guitar
- visits and get togethers with family and also several friends near and not-so-near
- hanging out with Carina (definitely a great thing :~)
- spending time with the girls, on their bikes, in the park, on the trampoline
- preparing for Quito (drawing up lists, fundraising, etc)
- reading a lot:  Emotionally Healthy Spirituality (Scazzero), Vision: Lost and Found (Stevens), the Bible in English and Spanish (God), The Way of a Pilgrim.
- working on connecting with some churches and colleagues in the area to visit them and sit in on some of their meetings
- contemplation and prayer (quite a bit of this!)

It's amazing how one can still feel somewhat stressed, however, having lists of things you want to do, but also having the luxury of a fairly open and flexible time frame to do it in.  Funny enough, I've found that I've had to cut back on my to-do list to keep myself 'sabbathing' and not getting all 'type-A' about it.  I've had to say 'pick ONE book and FINISH it' or 'pick one task to follow through with today, not five!'

So it looks like I need to be intentional and disciplined even in a season of rest!  Intentional about keeping it restful, and disciplined to keep it simple and focused.

So last Friday I attended the Emotionally Healthy Church Leadership conference put on by Willow Creek Canada at Portico.  The presenter was Peter Scazzero, author of the book of the same title.  It was a great time, during which I was able to re-connect with some old colleagues and friends from my Brampton days, and I found the material compelling and very useful.

Some notes I took away:
- "Church leadership remains violent to the leader's soul and family"  (OUCH, but sadly, all too true!)

- Emotionally healthy leaders live within limits.  This truth is absolutely vital to understand, accept and embrace.  We all have limits, and in becoming more emotionally and spiritually healthy, we learn to respect and even celebrate our limits.  It's taken me my entire life so far to really start to get this.  When I don't live within limits, I quickly get burnt out.

- Lead out of the strength of a strong marriage - making my marriage a priority benefits everything else in my life, work, ministry, family and leisure. 

- A regular habit of silence and re-centering on God, His person and presence, is absolutely essential to maintaining emotional health as a leader.

I'm still processing everything from the conference, but I plan to spend more time building a healthy rule of life for the next leg of my journey.

( . . . But I won't do it obsessively :~)

Books Worth Reading

Just finished James Chatto's fine novel The Greek For Love.  I'm a big fan of Greek food, bouzouki music, and any story that involves refurbishing ancient houses into liveable space once again.  This novel starts out as pure escapism with a hefty dose of mouth-watering descriptions of food, but moves ever so surreptitiously into something far more moving and at one point downright heartrending. 

Enjoy the read, but be ready with a hanky!

For all her debt woes, Greece is still a place Carina and I dream of visiting one day!  Reading this novel was a good tide-me-over until then.

Check it out!