I wish I could write the song
That's been somewhere in me all along
Just because I want it
Doesn't mean it's meant to be
You didn't seem to have to work
It came so naturally
Already on the inside track
The charmed life of a prodigy
Why were you my hero?
You had it all and all I wanted
Did we share some common traits?
I thought if I just looked like you
There'd be a place for me there too
But now I see my foolish sense
Why were you my hero?
You had it all and all I wanted
The years have passed and I moved on
Other heroes caught my eyes
I tried so many on for size
I'm not sure who I really am now
Why were you my hero?
You had it all and all I wanted
Do not forget the sins of youth
And pray to God you find the truth
- Rob Gast
June 2012
Carmen Bajo landscape
The view from Carmen Bajo, Quito, Ecuador
Wednesday, June 27, 2012
Monday, June 25, 2012
Looking Ahead: The Gasts Talk About Quito
This coming Sunday July 1, God willing, we will be on our way to Quito. Years of dreaming, and months of planning and prayer have finally come to this! I love looking forward to a major life experience like this, and we are in the process of starting to pack our bags and wondering how in the world it's all going to fit!
I took some time to interview the girls and Carina, to ask them their thoughts on our upcoming trip, thought you might be interested in their responses:
Kayleigh (age 6) –
What excites you most about this trip to
Just being there!
What makes you nervous about the trip? Meeting new friends.
Who are you most looking forward to seeing in Quito
Kamila (our Compassion sponsor child in Carmen Bajo)What do you think you’ll miss most back home?
What have you been doing to get ready to go?
Packing my stuffies.
Anything else you want to say?
I can’t wait to go there!Amanda (age 8) -
What excites you most about this trip to
Seeing Fabian and Grace and their family.
What makes you nervous about the trip?
That I might get sick.
Who are you most looking forward to seeing in Quito
Kamila (our Compassion sponsor child)
What do you think you’ll miss most back home?
Buttons (our cat) and our families.
What have you been doing to get ready to go?
Picking out stuffed animals and dolls to take with us.Getting activities ready for the kids in Quito.
Anything else you want to say?
no
Carina –
What excites you most about this trip to Ecuador
Finally experiencing a place I have heard about for so many years.
What makes you nervous about the trip?
Motion sickness and all the car rides :~(
Who are you most looking forward to seeing in Quito
Grace, Fabian, Andrea, Raquel, and (finally) meeting Santi! (the Erazo family)
What do you think you’ll miss most back home?
Buttons (our cat)
What have you been doing to get ready to go?
Learn
a little spanish, some reading on cultural differences and packing every
conceivable medication we could possibly need.
Anything else you want to say?
Probably not.
Rob –
What excites you most about this trip to Bringing my family to see and experience my 'other' home. Being among our friends and colleagues there. Quito is a city I love with a passion that is hard to explain.
What makes you nervous about the trip? Maintaining a reasonable pace and routines for the girls, health and wellness issues that may crop up.
Who are you most looking forward to seeing in
What do you think you’ll miss most back home? Peace and quiet at night - Quito's a noisy town!
What have you been doing to get ready to go? Lots of prayer, practicing my spanish worship songs and keeping my guitar chops up, reading the Bible in Spanish, taking care of many little details along with Carina to get us packed and ready.
Anything else you want to say? Interested to see if Ecuador grants Assange asylum ! Stay tuned . . . .
Tuesday, June 19, 2012
Merton on Contemplation
Last week at a friend's cottage I happened upon a book that has been on my 'to-read' list for a while, Thomas Merton's New Seeds of Contemplation.
I skimmed through it and landed on one chapter in particular that said a lot about living a contemplative life, a life in which one 'pays attention' to God's presence and activity in the here-and- now present moment.
As an 'aspirant' to such activity, (and very often ONLY an aspirant!) I could identify with what Merton, a Trappist monk, writer, philosopher and activist had to say about the challenges of contemplation:
"The contemplative life certainly does not demand a self-righteous contempt for the habits and diversions of ordinary people. But nevertheless, no man who seeks liberation and light in solitude, no man who seeks spiritual freedom, can afford to yield passively to all the appeals of a society of salesman, advertisers and consumers. . . . A natural pleasure is one thing; an unnatural pleasure, forced upon the satiated mind by the importunity of a salesman is quite another."
These words, written in 1961, are even more relevant today than ever. Life is often nothing but distractions, a perilous place for we, the ADD-crowd.
As I look deeper into my entire motivation for seeking to contemplate, these thoughts shine a light on what for me is often simply a desire for peace, quiet and no annoying people to have to bother with. Merton writes,
"If you seek escape for its own sake and run away from the world only because it is (as it must be) intensely unpleasant, you will not find peace and you will not find solitude. If you seek solitude merely because it is what you prefer, you will never escape from the world and its selfishness; you will never have the interior freedom that will keep you really alone."
So what is the whole point and purpose of living a contemplative life, or even just to take a day apart to be quiet and enjoy some solitude? Being on sabbatical, I am enjoying having chunks of time I can dedicate to solitude, but to what end? Likening contemplation to a desert, Merton says,
"We do not go into the desert to escape people but to learn how to find them; we do not leave them in order to have nothing more to do with them, but to find out the way to do them the most good. But this is only a secondary end. The one end that includes all others is the love of God."
My prayer is that in this season of enjoying some silence and solitude, I will encounter the Lord in a fresh way and receive something I can bring back into my life among family, friends and the world that will bless and encourage another to walk closer with Him as well.
(Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation, 1961)
I skimmed through it and landed on one chapter in particular that said a lot about living a contemplative life, a life in which one 'pays attention' to God's presence and activity in the here-and- now present moment.
As an 'aspirant' to such activity, (and very often ONLY an aspirant!) I could identify with what Merton, a Trappist monk, writer, philosopher and activist had to say about the challenges of contemplation:
"The contemplative life certainly does not demand a self-righteous contempt for the habits and diversions of ordinary people. But nevertheless, no man who seeks liberation and light in solitude, no man who seeks spiritual freedom, can afford to yield passively to all the appeals of a society of salesman, advertisers and consumers. . . . A natural pleasure is one thing; an unnatural pleasure, forced upon the satiated mind by the importunity of a salesman is quite another."
These words, written in 1961, are even more relevant today than ever. Life is often nothing but distractions, a perilous place for we, the ADD-crowd.
As I look deeper into my entire motivation for seeking to contemplate, these thoughts shine a light on what for me is often simply a desire for peace, quiet and no annoying people to have to bother with. Merton writes,
"If you seek escape for its own sake and run away from the world only because it is (as it must be) intensely unpleasant, you will not find peace and you will not find solitude. If you seek solitude merely because it is what you prefer, you will never escape from the world and its selfishness; you will never have the interior freedom that will keep you really alone."
So what is the whole point and purpose of living a contemplative life, or even just to take a day apart to be quiet and enjoy some solitude? Being on sabbatical, I am enjoying having chunks of time I can dedicate to solitude, but to what end? Likening contemplation to a desert, Merton says,
"We do not go into the desert to escape people but to learn how to find them; we do not leave them in order to have nothing more to do with them, but to find out the way to do them the most good. But this is only a secondary end. The one end that includes all others is the love of God."
My prayer is that in this season of enjoying some silence and solitude, I will encounter the Lord in a fresh way and receive something I can bring back into my life among family, friends and the world that will bless and encourage another to walk closer with Him as well.
Saturday, June 16, 2012
A Post For My Dad
I am a lousy golfer. Go figure, I play about once a year. Being naturally non-athletic to begin with, possessing skills and aptitudes of a more decidedly 'cerebral' nature, the fine art of hitting a ball with a club continues to elude me.
But again, I don't practice much!
This past Thursday, my Dad and I went for 18 holes at the Dorchester Golf Club, and we were blessed with a beautiful day, perfect for a walk in the park with a ball and a stick. I'll tell you at the end of the post more about our game (remember, I'm a lousy golfer!), but wanted to take some time to write about my reflections on the way back home that afternoon.
I am blessed to have a very good relationship with my Dad. Ours has morphed over the years into something that is a friendship, which is what they say should happen in all good parent-child relationships once the child has grown up. I think I've pretty much grown up, although Carina might argue that from time to time :~)
For several years, my Dad and I were in the same line of work (Worship Pastor), and it is my Dad more than anyone who has had the most profound influence on me as a musician and as a pastor of worship. Everything I know about singing, I learned from Dave Gast. He was my vocal major prof at OBC and supervised that major part of my training. I also remember as a kid wathcing my Dad direct choirs and musicals, and many of us in the Bramalea Baptist youth group have him to thank for three consecutive years of youth choir musicals and tours that were a huge part of our youth group experience. It wasn't all fun and games for him, but somehow he stuck with it and saw us through! Dad has tracked with me as I have continued to work in worship, navigating these interesting waters called contemporary edgy worship - contemporary because it's youthful, edgy, because sometimes it makes me edgy (kidding!). Seriously, Dad has been my guiding light as I have wrestled with balancing needs, vision, agendae and opportunity in our church. Someone I can vent to, someone who's wisdom I always seek out, and also (most significantly) someone who lets me be me and lets me follow my heart as best I can sense it's following the heart of God.
I also really love that my Dad doesn't pressure me to perform or 'measure up', but at the same time he also feels free to express what's in his heart about his likes and dislikes in worship these days. I don't feel judged or threatened, but I'm also given good food for thought that helps me to keep the most important things first.
Maybe that's what it is - my Dad knows how to encourage me to excel in the things that matter. A lot of stuff in life doesn't matter, a precious few but very key things do.
And so to golf. I'm a lousy golfer, my Dad is better than I, but when we play it's all fun and no pressure. The time together today was low key and relaxed. Thanks Dad! Happy Father's Day.
(You're curious about the score - I averaged 6 per hole, Dad averaged somewhere around 5 - loosely counting. Very loosely. We played the same 9 twice, so do the math and in my case, add about 20, plus several extra throw ins)
But again, I don't practice much!
This past Thursday, my Dad and I went for 18 holes at the Dorchester Golf Club, and we were blessed with a beautiful day, perfect for a walk in the park with a ball and a stick. I'll tell you at the end of the post more about our game (remember, I'm a lousy golfer!), but wanted to take some time to write about my reflections on the way back home that afternoon.
I am blessed to have a very good relationship with my Dad. Ours has morphed over the years into something that is a friendship, which is what they say should happen in all good parent-child relationships once the child has grown up. I think I've pretty much grown up, although Carina might argue that from time to time :~)
For several years, my Dad and I were in the same line of work (Worship Pastor), and it is my Dad more than anyone who has had the most profound influence on me as a musician and as a pastor of worship. Everything I know about singing, I learned from Dave Gast. He was my vocal major prof at OBC and supervised that major part of my training. I also remember as a kid wathcing my Dad direct choirs and musicals, and many of us in the Bramalea Baptist youth group have him to thank for three consecutive years of youth choir musicals and tours that were a huge part of our youth group experience. It wasn't all fun and games for him, but somehow he stuck with it and saw us through! Dad has tracked with me as I have continued to work in worship, navigating these interesting waters called contemporary edgy worship - contemporary because it's youthful, edgy, because sometimes it makes me edgy (kidding!). Seriously, Dad has been my guiding light as I have wrestled with balancing needs, vision, agendae and opportunity in our church. Someone I can vent to, someone who's wisdom I always seek out, and also (most significantly) someone who lets me be me and lets me follow my heart as best I can sense it's following the heart of God.
I also really love that my Dad doesn't pressure me to perform or 'measure up', but at the same time he also feels free to express what's in his heart about his likes and dislikes in worship these days. I don't feel judged or threatened, but I'm also given good food for thought that helps me to keep the most important things first.
Maybe that's what it is - my Dad knows how to encourage me to excel in the things that matter. A lot of stuff in life doesn't matter, a precious few but very key things do.
And so to golf. I'm a lousy golfer, my Dad is better than I, but when we play it's all fun and no pressure. The time together today was low key and relaxed. Thanks Dad! Happy Father's Day.
(You're curious about the score - I averaged 6 per hole, Dad averaged somewhere around 5 - loosely counting. Very loosely. We played the same 9 twice, so do the math and in my case, add about 20, plus several extra throw ins)
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Checking in!
Hey there, how are ya? Enjoying the summer weather? I hope so.
It's been a bit since I posted on the blog, so I thought I'd send out a brief update on some things - it may well be that no one really cares, but that's ok, it gives me a chance to take stock of what I'm up to and to re-orient as we head into a new week.
Movies Seen:
The Avengers - absolute fun!
The whole movie and plot are really anchored around a couple of the Avenger characters (in particular, Iron Man) but as a team-flick where everybody has something to contribute to saving the world, it's a great movie. In recently taking the Strengths Finder online test (more about that in a moment) I discovered again that I am very much about seeing a team of people work well together and what a beautiful thing that is. So this movie rocked!
I have a ticket to see Prometheus with some comrades tomorrow nite - should be a scream (literally!)
Books Read:
Still working on a couple of reads, almost finished Serving With Eyes Wide Open by David A. Livermore, and finding it a compelling critique and re-evaluation of short term missions.
Livermore raises a lot of important issues, and attempts in the last section of the book to develop the basis for understanding "Cultural Intelligence" and how this may be vital to insuring that short term missions in the future don't get off the rails. As we get ready for Quito, I'm glad to be reading up on these issues and hope to apply it all to our time there.
Also reading Fahrenheit 451 right now, in honour of the late Ray Bradbury.
I haven't read much of him, but so far 451 is really grabbing me, with it's eery prophetic view of the future (written in 1953) and the lyrical and poetic prose that surprises and captivates me!
Other Stuff I've Been Doing:
I bought the Strengths Finder book which comes with a key code to take their online survey to assess my top 5 'soft skill' areas of strength. Last week I invested a fair bit of time dissecting my survey results and thinking and praying through what this info has to say about how I should focus myself moving ahead. My top 5 strengths are:
1. Empathy - yes, I am an empath, and know what you are feeling, in fact, I see dead people . . . .
2. Harmony - I'm that guy that says "can't we all just get along?"
3. Connectedness - as an empath I am also a Jedi Master and see the vast interconnectedness of all things . . . . .
4. Intellection - If I am interested, I have a gift for going deep cover to research something of interest to me and become an expert, now if I could only harness that gift better . . . .
5. Input - I am a fount of all things trivial and have the capacity to write clearly and well
So all that is still percolating in my head, but helps me to think concretely about how to structure my time and energy to greater effectiveness.
People and Places:
- had a great lunch with a colleague from Edmonton, Brad Guldemond, to compare notes and share stories. It was great to catch up with Brad again!
- family and friend get togethers aplenty! Golf with my Dad, get-togethers with our friends Phil and Katherine and their girls, the Lilleys, the Sennemas, Ken, Joe, Dave, cousins Jake and Kyla and Aunt Janet, Denise and Mom Cassel - quite busy! But so good to be able to catch up again with so many people and not feel a time pressure on it.
- we've been attending Lincoln Road for church quite regularly, although today (Sunday the 10th) I went to Forward Church in Cambridge to see how they do things. The service was very long, (1 hr and 40 minutes long! I'm so not used to that!) but it was well run, and Steve Adams is a warm and engaging preacher. It was good to be there!
- Out for walks, also shopping with Carina for stuff for Quito, and just hanging out together too.
QUITO !!!
So we have now exceeded our original goal of $4,790 to a new total of $5,005 !!! What an unbelievably generous group of friends and family we are blessed to know! God has continued to open every door and provide abundantly for this mission, and we are getting excited as we see our July 1 departure date draw near. Life over the next several weeks will begin to be more and more about getting ready to go. Check out our webpage here:
http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1415914&langPref=en-CA
So, on into a new week, with some more reading, music, planning and preparation, a visit to the chiropractor, and getting ready to lead worship next week at Ray of Hope C.R. on Monday, plus a special event I can't tell you about yet because it's a surprise for our girls - stay tuned and don't ask them about it until after Tuesday !!!!
It's been a bit since I posted on the blog, so I thought I'd send out a brief update on some things - it may well be that no one really cares, but that's ok, it gives me a chance to take stock of what I'm up to and to re-orient as we head into a new week.
Movies Seen:
The Avengers - absolute fun!
The whole movie and plot are really anchored around a couple of the Avenger characters (in particular, Iron Man) but as a team-flick where everybody has something to contribute to saving the world, it's a great movie. In recently taking the Strengths Finder online test (more about that in a moment) I discovered again that I am very much about seeing a team of people work well together and what a beautiful thing that is. So this movie rocked!
I have a ticket to see Prometheus with some comrades tomorrow nite - should be a scream (literally!)
Books Read:
Still working on a couple of reads, almost finished Serving With Eyes Wide Open by David A. Livermore, and finding it a compelling critique and re-evaluation of short term missions.
Livermore raises a lot of important issues, and attempts in the last section of the book to develop the basis for understanding "Cultural Intelligence" and how this may be vital to insuring that short term missions in the future don't get off the rails. As we get ready for Quito, I'm glad to be reading up on these issues and hope to apply it all to our time there.
Also reading Fahrenheit 451 right now, in honour of the late Ray Bradbury.
Other Stuff I've Been Doing:
I bought the Strengths Finder book which comes with a key code to take their online survey to assess my top 5 'soft skill' areas of strength. Last week I invested a fair bit of time dissecting my survey results and thinking and praying through what this info has to say about how I should focus myself moving ahead. My top 5 strengths are:
1. Empathy - yes, I am an empath, and know what you are feeling, in fact, I see dead people . . . .
2. Harmony - I'm that guy that says "can't we all just get along?"
3. Connectedness - as an empath I am also a Jedi Master and see the vast interconnectedness of all things . . . . .
4. Intellection - If I am interested, I have a gift for going deep cover to research something of interest to me and become an expert, now if I could only harness that gift better . . . .
5. Input - I am a fount of all things trivial and have the capacity to write clearly and well
So all that is still percolating in my head, but helps me to think concretely about how to structure my time and energy to greater effectiveness.
- had a great lunch with a colleague from Edmonton, Brad Guldemond, to compare notes and share stories. It was great to catch up with Brad again!
- family and friend get togethers aplenty! Golf with my Dad, get-togethers with our friends Phil and Katherine and their girls, the Lilleys, the Sennemas, Ken, Joe, Dave, cousins Jake and Kyla and Aunt Janet, Denise and Mom Cassel - quite busy! But so good to be able to catch up again with so many people and not feel a time pressure on it.
- we've been attending Lincoln Road for church quite regularly, although today (Sunday the 10th) I went to Forward Church in Cambridge to see how they do things. The service was very long, (1 hr and 40 minutes long! I'm so not used to that!) but it was well run, and Steve Adams is a warm and engaging preacher. It was good to be there!
- Out for walks, also shopping with Carina for stuff for Quito, and just hanging out together too.
QUITO !!!
So we have now exceeded our original goal of $4,790 to a new total of $5,005 !!! What an unbelievably generous group of friends and family we are blessed to know! God has continued to open every door and provide abundantly for this mission, and we are getting excited as we see our July 1 departure date draw near. Life over the next several weeks will begin to be more and more about getting ready to go. Check out our webpage here:
http://my.e2rm.com/personalPage.aspx?registrationID=1415914&langPref=en-CA
So, on into a new week, with some more reading, music, planning and preparation, a visit to the chiropractor, and getting ready to lead worship next week at Ray of Hope C.R. on Monday, plus a special event I can't tell you about yet because it's a surprise for our girls - stay tuned and don't ask them about it until after Tuesday !!!!
Monday, June 4, 2012
Losing my Sabbath?
We are one month in on this sabbatical, things are running pretty well, lots of enjoyable get togethers, lots of time to do the things I want to do, the pace is good, I am very much enjoying NOT having to deal with the usual things like deadlines, rehearsals, meetings, conflict resolution, creative logjams, etc etc etc. I feel relaxed, open, content. Joyful!
And then, something happens. I am suddenly reminded of an issue that will be waiting for me when I get back in August, some visional clarification that will very likely involve my needing to have some heart-to-heart conversations, and to voice the concerns I have as well as listening to and mediating the concerns of others. For an empath like myself, the spectre of this issue (that shall remain nameless) suddenly sucks me down into a vortex of anxiety, worry and even a mild sense of depression.
This happened late last week, and sent me sprawling. Try as I might, I couldn't seem to shake it so easily. Carina could tell I was stewing. I started getting mad at the situation, and mad at myself for having lost my sabbatical 'zen' (sorry for the borrowed phrase!)
It helped to talk it through for sure, and a couple of conversations as well as some personal journalling on the issue got it sorted out and organized for me in my own headspace. But through the weekend, it kept looming, like some sort of ghost rising up from a grave ("WOOOOoooooooo !!" :~)
This morning I arose and went about my typical start-of-the-day devotional exercises, and that's when God seemed to speak a word into me that set me back on the path. He reminded me that Sabbath, (or in my case, 'Sabbatical') is about remembering that while I rest, God continues to work. It is His will for this sabbatical that I . . . REST! To allow work to creep in and occupy headspace again is to try and wrest control and security away from God in a way that dishonors not only His commanded sabbath rest for me, but also His Very Nature!
Today went much better, and I am feeling restful in Him. He will lead and equip me for the return to work in August. I will rest secure in that.
P.S. - we raised ALL our support for Quito, reaching and exceeding the goal over the weekend - that's a BIG "YAY GOD !!!!"
And then, something happens. I am suddenly reminded of an issue that will be waiting for me when I get back in August, some visional clarification that will very likely involve my needing to have some heart-to-heart conversations, and to voice the concerns I have as well as listening to and mediating the concerns of others. For an empath like myself, the spectre of this issue (that shall remain nameless) suddenly sucks me down into a vortex of anxiety, worry and even a mild sense of depression.
This happened late last week, and sent me sprawling. Try as I might, I couldn't seem to shake it so easily. Carina could tell I was stewing. I started getting mad at the situation, and mad at myself for having lost my sabbatical 'zen' (sorry for the borrowed phrase!)
It helped to talk it through for sure, and a couple of conversations as well as some personal journalling on the issue got it sorted out and organized for me in my own headspace. But through the weekend, it kept looming, like some sort of ghost rising up from a grave ("WOOOOoooooooo !!" :~)
This morning I arose and went about my typical start-of-the-day devotional exercises, and that's when God seemed to speak a word into me that set me back on the path. He reminded me that Sabbath, (or in my case, 'Sabbatical') is about remembering that while I rest, God continues to work. It is His will for this sabbatical that I . . . REST! To allow work to creep in and occupy headspace again is to try and wrest control and security away from God in a way that dishonors not only His commanded sabbath rest for me, but also His Very Nature!
Today went much better, and I am feeling restful in Him. He will lead and equip me for the return to work in August. I will rest secure in that.
P.S. - we raised ALL our support for Quito, reaching and exceeding the goal over the weekend - that's a BIG "YAY GOD !!!!"
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